Over the years many couples have asked why they should entertain the idea of sensual and erotic massage. After all, they argue, they have a good or reasonable sex life and communicate well, so why give themselves yet another commitment to fit into their busy lives?
I think this argument highlights what is wrong with so many relationships today. Sensual massage is worth the effort for the following reasons;
It encourages couples to create time and space in which to be alone together. Most couples would benefit from spending more time together. Some couples do a lot of social activities together but rarely spend time alone with one another. Instead of simply being, they pour their energy into ‘doing’ all the time.
Sensual massage isn’t goal centered. When couples interact intimately, it is often goal centeredd. Men, especially seem to set goals, however, unconscious this may be. When you massage one another, it is simply enough to have ‘pleasuring each other’ as your goal. There is no pressure to bring about an orgasm and no failures due to fear. The sole aim of giving and receiving a sensuous massage is pleasure for its own sake and this, unfortunately, is all too rare for most couples.
Erotic massage is a fulfilling substitute for sexual intercourse. Many couples see sex as being the only way that they can satisfy their need for touch. This is a great shame, because touch and sex are not the same thing. Adult massage can be just as satisfying or even better than sex. Sensual massage is wonderfully beneficial when, for any of the following reasons conventional sex is difficult or not possible;
- Pregnancy can be a time of sexual abstinence.
- A woman who has just had a baby will be sexually unavailable for a while.
- Sexual or erectile dysfunction. This often leads to anxiety performance during sexual intercourse, however, sensual massage completely relaxes one’s partner and there is no pressure to perform.
- Fear of STDs. Sensuous massage is sexy yet safe. There is no sexual activity.
And so instead of couples retreating from sexual activity entirely, they could use the power of sensual massage as a highly pleasurable and rewarding alternative. It is tragic that far too many couples behave as though their sexual lives were over at the first sign of failure, illness or disappointment. If they knew how to touch and caress each other in a loving and healing way, many an affair would be prevented and many a marriage enriched.